This is an extremely difficult (and long) story to tell. Most of my recent posts have dealt with past trauma, and the benefit of time has allowed me to frame them in a positive light. This is not that kind of post, but it does begin and end with a story.
Once upon a time, a recently divorced and rather distressed damsel met a very handsome man, who we’ll call Glenn. Glenn, who had always wanted to rescue a damsel in distress, promised her the world. Not surprisingly, the two fell in love, and Glenn liked to speak of marriage.
Glenn engaged his damsel in planning a life together, and as part of that process, he spoke warmly of his new love to his parents. Unfortunately, in his excitement, Glenn divulged some information that might have been better left unsaid until the damsel could explain things herself.
“My love,” he told his doting parents, “is practically perfect in every way, and I would like to marry her. She has just this one frailty, though it doesn’t matter to me. She has Bipolar Disorder, Type II. (And Anxiety Disorder, and Pre-Menstrual Dysphoric Disorder.) I’m not worried– I know she is an exceptional woman who will not let these demons conquer her spirit.”
“But son,” exclaimed his gossipy mother, “Are you forgetting about second cousin George’s neighbor’s best friend from college? Don’t you remember? She has Bipolar Disorder, and she tried to microwave her baby! You cannot marry this woman– your children will be in mortal peril, and you’ll have to get rid of your microwave!”
At first, Glenn dismissed his mother’s over-reaching concerns, for he knew his damsel was rational, and he knew she loved his children already and posed no danger. But doubt crept in that night when he microwaved some leftover soup. Could he really and truly trust his damsel to be around his precious children?
Slowly, a hypothetical nightmare began to swarm over Glenn’s brain, suffocating the love he felt for his poor, misaligned damsel. He began to pull back from the relationship slowly, in hopes that she wouldn’t notice and murder him in a fit of rage.
After months of such shameful behavior, their relationship ended and eventually their friendship also was irrevocably destroyed. But Glenn’s children were safe, and his microwave could stay. Satisfied that he had done the right thing, Glenn went on his merry way, in search of a younger, saner damsel to rescue.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, the damsel’s heart cracked–slowly at first, and after the dam burst, all at once. She had never felt so rejected, humiliated, and insulted in her life.
Not being the kind of flaky damsel who faints on command, she confronted her man with logic and evidence of her sanity as well as her fitness to be a wife and stepmother, and thus found herself in the odd position of trying to prove that she was sane enough to be worth loving.
No one should ever have to prove that she deserves to be loved.
Tragically, our damsel failed in her quest, and a little seed of doubt was planted in her formerly strong heart. Was she too crazy for any good man to love? Would she ever have the family she so desperately desired?
She was no longer sure, but decided that this particular man was an idiot anyway, and so our brave damsel reluctantly moved on with her life, despite feeling ever more distressed.
Coming up for our damsel: Recent heartbreak takes her down memory lane, which is full of ugly weeds and tricky potholes. We’ll bring her back out as quickly as possible, I promise. Stay tuned!