Daily Record: They Fell Flat

Note: I started this post completely convinced that the internet screwed up my breakfast. Halfway through, I realized that it wasn’t the internet’s fault… but because this is one of those times that I’m unintentionally funny, I left the original post. My better-late-than-never realizations are in red.

I learned a very important lesson today: Sometimes it’s helpful to scour the internet for knowledge, and sometimes the internet ruins your pancakes. Other times, you begin writing about how the internet ruined your pancakes only to discover that YOU were the culprit all along! 

I wanted pancakes this morning. Actually, I wanted waffles, but since my decrepit grease-trap of a waffle iron has been laid to rest (in the dumpster), I had to settle for pancakes. I gathered all of the ingredients to make pancakes from scratch, only to discover that I had no milk. But dang it, I really wanted pancakes!! 

Desperate times call for desperately Googling, so I picked the internet’s brain for milk-less pancake recipes, and found this: Image4 tsp. baking powder??? FOUR?! My drowsy brain thought maybe that was a mistake, but it’s been awhile since Googler the Great let me down, so I went with it. I laboriously stirred out all the lumps, and made my soon-to-be delicious pancakes one by one, since I was too lazy to climb the step stool and fetch the griddle. (This is where having Charming over for breakfast came in handy…) 

Finally, I sat down, syrup in hand, and took a bite, only to spit out a disgusting, half-chewed wad of pancake into a napkin. Holy Arm and Hammer, Batman!! My pancakes tasted like litter box! (Before the cat has used it, when it’s just been coated with baking soda to keep the odor down. What do you think I do? Dig into the litter box for a fibrous snack? You’re gross!) Wait a minute… baking soda? SODA??? I just had to run to the kitchen to double-check, but yes. In my semi-conscious fog this morning, I used 4 tsp. baking soda instead of baking powder! Sheesh! This must be why people use pancake mix! (And read… people also read.) 

I still think that 4 tsp. of baking powder is a lot, but who knows? Maybe it makes the fluffiest, most delectable milk-free pancakes in the world, unless you’re a speed-reading, pancake-ruining dork like myself. You’ll have to try it and see; I would, but I think I’m off pancakes for awhile. (Oz, on the other hand, LOVES baking soda pancakes, and would welcome more samples the next time I screw up!) 

P.S.: If you want a good burp (or fifty), feel free to try some baking soda pancakes of your own– they work wonders! 

P.P.S.: This entertaining (for y’all, anyway) lesson is brought to you by Mormon Mavens in the Kitchen, at http://www.mormonmavens.blogspot.com. None of these ladies are to blame for my litter box pancakes, I promise!! 

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