20 Things I Learned About Esperanza Today

1. She would make a terrible bulimic;  her gag reflex is excellent. I learned this by trying to force a series of pills down her poor little throat.

2. When being force-fed pills, she enjoys hiding under my bed, but then whines because she gets stuck.

3. She got much sicker overnight, but has likely been in pain for awhile. (I’m sorry, little dog!)

4. She weighs 13.2 pounds. (Less than my cat.)

5. She is a Chug: pug/chihuahua mix.

6. She’s a year old, tops. She has probably never had a litter of puppies

7. … and she never will, because even if I didn’t spay her, (which of course I will– chill out, Bob Barker!) her femur healed funny and she’s waaaaaaaay too small down there for any puppies.

8. She does not have a bladder infection, but her bladder is filled with blood. This internal injury was likely caused by the accident, but the amount of blood in the urine was microscopic until recently, which is why I didn’t catch it. (Poor girl.)

9. Not only did she break her pelvis when she was hit, but also her femur and both back legs.

10. She does not self-identify as handicapable, but she does walk funny. Her front end goes in one direction and her back end goes in the other. I’ll have to take a video.

11. She is TERRIFIED of other people– I’m the only one who can touch her, talk to her, or come near her. Her favorite line of defense is to hide between my legs.

12. She loves Oz, and follows him around like a puppy. (See what I did there?)

13. She’s a cat chaser, but she’s learned not to chase BK after a few good swats on the nose. Now she’s pretty respectful.

14. She wants to be as close to me as possible, and for this reason, delights in tripping me. She seems to see this as proof of our intimate relationship, and rejoices each time my face falls within licking distance.

15. She grazes like a horse when I let her.

16. She does not like to ride in the car, but she does better in the front seat with me, where she has an abnormal fascination with the gear shift.

17. When faced with people and other dogs at the dog park, she prefers to trot along by my side, and will never go more than ten steps away from me.

18. She snorks when she eats, which is mostly because she inhales her food.

19. She really needs to gain weight, and so, when I fed her the exact same amount as Ozzie this evening, she ate almost all of it. Wow!

20. She will do ANYTHING for me, so every time I take her outside she squats and tries to pee, even though it clearly hurts. She’s really getting the hang of this potty training thing!

Bonus Fact: Did you know that dogs can get breast cancer if they’re not spayed? My vet says it’s just an eventuality. Crazy.

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