Can anyone tell me why it is that with all the medical advances in our society, no one yet has figured out how to remove the uterus temporarily and then stick it back in when it’s wanted? Because I would really really REALLY love to evict mine, just for now.
One of my many medical issues is Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder, or PMDD. You probably haven’t heard of it, so here’s what you need to know. Every month, my uterus and I get into a fight. For about a week before my period, my uterus becomes very angry that I have not placed an occupant into the home it has prepared, and so it exacts revenge by turning me into a complete basket case. I bloat, I cramp, I get very very weepy, and most importantly, I get flooded with more feelings than one person could possibly deal with at once.
Now would be that time. So please, no one show me any long-distance phone call commercials, or missing pet notifications, engagement announcements, or…. pretty much anything. You are on notice, world: I am currently being held hostage by a very vindictive internal organ, and I am
completely nuts not myself.
In other news, Michael Darling is involved in his first serious relationship since our divorce, and though most of me wants to be happy for him, my uterus is currently sending hate mail. We’ve been divorced for over a year, and of course letting go is a process that’s neither easy nor painless, but I’m pretty sure I’ll be able to handle the news much better when I return to my normal, semi-sane self.
In other other news, the K baby sent me a picture she drew. I loved it. My uterus and I may or may not have cried for about a half an hour because my little Beanie is growing up so fast. (See what I mean?)
Seriously… if you can think of a way to evict my uterine friend, let me know. (But send the message in code–she’s armed and dangerous.)