The One in Which I Wore a Crown

When I was a very small girl, I was plagued by nightmares. Night after night I’d be chased by a horrifying black wolf with teeth as big as carving knives, and night after night I’d wake up drenched in sweat. I also used to dream that California (where we lived) fell off the rest of the country and sunk to the bottom of the ocean, and that my house was engulfed by fire, and that there were sharks in the bathtub, but these dreams are easier to account for. (Common 90’s folklore, Backdraft, and Jaws, respectively.) But the wolf was by far the worst and most frequent.

The nightmares got so bad that I was terrified to fall asleep, and I would lay in bed with my little eyes open for as long as I could, imagining all the possible flavors of ice cream or every name I could give a kitten in order to keep myself awake. When I did fall asleep the wolf would start chasing, and I’d wake up multiple times a night. I needed to break the cycle.

Eventually, I found a solution. I don’t know if this is something someone suggested to me or that I saw in a movie or something, but one night it occurred to my little brain to put on a crown. I’d make myself into the Bedtime Queen, and banish the bad dreams. Surely the wolf could not defy a queen’s orders.

Thereafter, every night after my parents tucked me in and my sister had fallen asleep, I would form a crown shape with my hands and place it on my head. Then I would say something like “I’m the Queen, and tonight I command dreams of kittens playing on rainbows.” That done, I would relax into sleep, knowing that the wolf wouldn’t be chasing me that night, and if he tried, I could always pull out my crown and banish him.

I’ve been thinking about my invisible crown a lot lately, and for the past couple of nights I’ve actually worn it to push away the school shooting nightmares. It was a little dusty from lack of use at first, but I’m glad to report that it still works fairly well.


(I don’t know the original source of this image, but I found it on


4 thoughts on “The One in Which I Wore a Crown

  1. Interesting…when I was little I used to think that if I said something over and over, until I fell asleep, I would dream about it. I would recite (in my mind) “Tonight I want to dream about CareBears” over and over. I wonder if I got this from you or from the same person who potentially told you…


  2. Hi outstanding blog! Does running a blog like this take a massive amount work?
    I’ve absolutely no expertise in coding however I was hoping to
    start my own blog in the near future. Anyhow, if you have any ideas or tips for new blog owners please share.
    I understand this is off subject but I simply needed to ask.
    Thanks a lot!


    1. Hi Curtis,

      First of all, thank you. Second, no– running a blog does not take a massive amount of work, at least not in the technical sense. There is obviously a lot of writing involved, depending on how often you want to post. And there may be more work involved if you want to monetize your blog, but unfortunately I can’t help you there. My suggestion would be simply to start, and to start simple. Just start blogging, and don’t overwhelm yourself with trying to gain followers or monetizing at first. Blog for you, and when you feel like you’ve gotten a good start, invite others. Take advantage of your existing social network for this, and visit other blogs and leave good comments. You’ll be surprised how quickly you’ll gain a little following. Good luck!



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